Bridal Club Magazine
How to Ask Your Family to Contribute to Your Wedding
Traditionally in this country, it is the bride's parents who pay
for the wedding event. However, times have changed and now many
grooms want to contribute to the financial aspect of the affair. If
you are a groom-to-be and your parents have conservative views
about wedding traditions, asking them or anyone in your family to
contribute to your wedding can be quite a challenge. But just like
most things in this world, it can be resolved with the right
diplomacy and some effective strategies. Here are some pointers to
help you in this process.
1. Find the right time to talk to them.
As experience may have taught you, timing is everything. Just
like when you were young, you never asked for date money when your
dad and mom were fighting or when they were having a hard time
about something. You always found the right moment. It is not any
You should find the right time where both of your parents and
your whole family are at ease, they are not stressed or
problematic, and the atmosphere in the house is not tense. This
would give you better chances for getting a yes on your financial
2. Gather them together in a place where you can
Aside from the timing, you should also find a nice place where
you and your family could talk. Choose a venue that is peaceful and
quiet. This means that a disco bar, a fast food place, or the
living room (where the kids hang out) are a no-no. Hold the
conversation in a peaceful area in the house or ask them to join
you for a cup of coffee in a café.
3. Talk to them about it nicely.
Tell them directly and nicely without beating around the bush.
Something like, "Mom, Dad, I know this is not the tradition, but if
it is all right with you, I would just like to ask your help for my
wedding" would be an effective way to start. Never make guilt-trip
strategies like ("Mom, remember I paid for your hospital expenses
when you got sick?" or "Dad, it is about time you paid me back for
the down payment I got you for your car.")
4. Do not force them to contribute beyond what they can
Now if your family agreed to make a contribution to your
wedding, do not demand them to give an amount that they cannot
afford or that they are not willing to share. Whatever amount they
give you, be happy about it. ("What, you are only giving me this?!
This is barely enough for the invitation expenses!" This is never a
good way to thank your family for the financial assistance they
Just remember that these techniques are not 100% effective and
it is still possible that after you have done everything right,
your parents would not or could not make a financial contribution
to your wedding. Because of this possibility, you should always
have a back-up plan. You should have enough savings that you can
use to spend for your wedding event. But sure enough, your family
loves you and that they will probably do everything to make sure
that they are able to help you in some other ways.