Bridal Club Magazine
How to Plan Your Wedding Without Going Nuts
After getting engaged, you and your intended need to hash out
who wants to be responsible for what parts of the plan, and how
involved either of you want to be with respect to the details.
"But, Dana!" you scream hysterically. "My partner isn't interested
in any of the details!" Well, I'm sorry, but that shizz is just
plain unacceptable.
Okay, fine, that's not exactly true. If you're a super-Type A
personality, or you've been imagining your wedding in great detail
from the moment you broke free from your mother's womb, then that
may be exactly what you want - nay, need- from your partner.
Hands-off, total agreement, nod-and-smile-style support.
If that doesn't describe you (we'll call you "Type Other"), you'll
have to gently introduce your partner to the inevitability of his
role in the researching, planning, organizing, spreadsheeting,
financing, and
handing-you-Kleenex-during-the-meltdowns-of-wedding-planning
reality.
1. Brainstorm his talents and interests and break up the duties
accordingly.
Who's better at organization? Who's a more skilled haggler? Who can
research on the Internet like a boss? Who has a better eye for
design?
2. Figure out who cares more about what.
If you're a major audiophile, it follows that you'd be a better
choice to plan the playlist and DJ or band. If your partner is a
typography or graphics nerd, let him take the lead on the
invitation selection or design. And for the elements that neither
of you love, either scratch them from the plan, because you're
allowed to omit anything you wish - it's your wedding - or suck it
up, divide, and plan to mutually conquer. (P.S.: The aforementioned
point about it being your wedding will be repeated ad nauseam - get
used to it.)
3. Discuss going on a "spending diet" to help you save for the
wedding.
Blogger Anna Newell Jones of "And Then We Saved" suggests that you
and your partner write down your "needs" for each month (rent,
utilities, insurance, groceries, gas, etc.), budget for those, and
then give yourselves an allowance for extras such as entertainment,
dining out, clothes, and the like. Anything left over each month
goes into your savings for the wedding! The website Mint.com
provides excellent budgeting and financial tracking software to
help you identify where you're spending money each month and how to
establish limits for yourself. It's a lifesaver!
4. Remember, you are a team.
Thus, teamwork is to be expected. And there is no i in "teamwork,"
but there is an ass in "forced assistance." So brace yourselves for
the fact that sometimes it will be super fun, and sometimes it will
be a total drag, but thems the ropes of planning a wedding. If
you're not in it to win it, maybe elope?
5. If rewards-based systems work for you, work out one of those,
too.
Planning can be fun and mutually beneficial!
6. Discuss how to manage any possible disagreements that may come
up.
Find me a couple who agrees on every single aspect of their wedding
from the get-go, and I'll show you a purple people eater. As you
begin the process, it's essential to understand that there are two
people with two minds that are equally important, and that those
minds will sometimes clash.