Bridal Club Magazine
How to Get Your Groom Involved in the Planning!
- Just got engaged? Let him help spread the good
news. Divvy up your list so he can call his family and
- Is he creative? Ask him to design an
engagement announcement card online to be sent out to family and
- If he never failed a math test, managing the wedding
budget is the perfect task for him. "Simply put, the man
likes to be in charge of the money," says Samantha Goldberg, owner
of Gold Events, in Bridgewater, NJ. Software programs, like
Quicken, and wedding-planning programs that include a budget tool
might make this task even more appealing to him.
- Does he have negotiating skills? Ask him to
work out the prices with vendors, and see what kinds of "extras" he
can manage to get included in your packages.
- In wedding planning, no task is unimportant. Have him
take charge of tipping the vendors. Suggest that he create
the tip envelopes to hand out at the reception.
- Nowadays many couples write their own wedding
vows. Bring out his romantic side by asking him to express
his thoughts. Collaborate on writing the vows, or ask him to
research any special readings that the two of you would like to
- If carpentry is one of his skills, put him to work (and
save money!). Goldberg worked with a groom who built a
plywood canopy for his ceremony, which was then covered with
orange-and-fuchsia organza fabric.
- Remember those exciting nights out on the town when you first
started dating? Have him research bands and DJs,
and arrange for the two of you to go out on "dates" to take notes
and compare. Once you choose your musicians, he should take charge
of providing them with a list of the tunes you both want to hear
(and don't want to hear).
- If you've decided to set up your iPod and speakers at the
reception, have him create the playlist and enlist
a willing tech-savvy guest to help out with the process.
- Ask him to work with your photographer and
videographer. "Men want to make sure they won't have to
pose for too many photos, and they don't want the photographer to
be invasive of their space," says Goldberg. Your groom can lay out
your mutually agreed-upon rules with your professional.
- "The wine and bar menu for the wedding reception is a
very big deal for a lot of grooms," says Sharon Naylor,
author of 1000 Best Secrets for Your Perfect Wedding
(Sourcebooks). Suggest he throw a wine-tasting party for a group of
friends to test out different wines. "Grooms also love getting
behind the bar and making up their own drinks," adds Goldberg.
- If your guy's a "foodie," let him determine the
menu, suggest Judith Sherven and Jim Sniechowski, authors
of The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams (New
World Library). Even if he isn't an expert, be sure he accompanies
you on your taste-sampling visits to caterers, adds Naylor.
- What groom wouldn't jump at the chance to pick the
big-day transportation? "Exotic car rentals are huge right
now," says Naylor. "The Rolls-Royce, the Bentley, the Lotus Esprit,
the Hummer stretch limousines-guys get to test-drive all these
- Is he a secret fashionista? Have him enjoy
choosing his own big-day ensemble, whether it's a linen tux for a
beach wedding or a black tux paired with a colorful vest for a more
formal affair. Ask him to help you play matchmaker and create
seating arrangements for your reception tables. "Matching
personalities can be fun and exciting for the couple to do
together," says Goldberg.
- These days, people register for all kinds of nontraditional
wedding presents. He can take care of signing up for a
flat-screen TV, a DVD player or even a computer.
- "A lot more grooms are taking charge of the diplomatic
issues that come up between all the people involved in the
wedding planning," says Naylor. Does he have the skills to mediate
between you and your respective families if disagreements arise and
discussions heat up? If so, then by all means let him be the
- If you're worried about the best man's (or anyone's)
toast, ask your fiancé to have a heart-to-heart talk with
them about your concerns, suggests Sherven. Nervous about his Uncle
Bob's tendency to party a bit too hearty? Let your groom know about
your concerns beforehand, so that he can handle any situation that
might arise (it's always better to be safe than sorry!).
- Make him the unofficial tour guide for your out-of-town
guests. Ask him to create a list of sightseeing spots,
restaurants and bars in your area so your guests can enjoy your
- "More and more men want to take dance lessons
because they don't want to make a fool out of themselves during the
first dance," says Naylor. Have him research local instructors and
- Ask him to put on a show to wow your guests by creating
a PowerPoint presentation that includes childhood photos
of each of you, as well as ones that document your dating
relationship and your courtship. This is a surefire
- In regular "wedding update" meetings, get his input on
decisions. As time goes on and the big day gets closer,
he'll become more and more involved with the details of the day-and
that's just as it should be. After all, the wedding belongs to both
Here are some ways that men have pitched in with
"My husband helped me with the seating
arrangements for the reception-this was a good task for
him because he could visualize them,and I
couldn't." -Suzan Kerner. Wedding: August 2002.
"Since we combined Jewish and Greek customs, my husband
was in charge of finding the stefania (traditional
Greek crowns) that were placed on our heads during the
ceremony. He was also involved in choosing the band and
making sure they could find a bouzouki (a Greekstringed instrument
player), so we could have Greek music and dancing."-Marci
Goldstein. Wedding: November 2004.
"My husband did one thing-kept my mother-in-law out of
our plans!" -Jill Rosenthal. Wedding: August
"The most gratifying part of the wedding planning for me was
when I got our photographer to agree to throw in digital
photos for free." -Rob Coviello. Wedding: May
"For our upcoming wedding, I got my fiancé involved in
the food. I also schedule time to discuss the wedding.
This way, I resist the urge to harass him with wedding issues, and
I have his full attention when we do sit down to
talk." -Tamar Ben-Moshe. Wedding: January 2007.
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